Recently, Dear Eagles, the bishop of Central New York, Skip Adams, sent out a memo regarding a resolution that had been passed at their fall diocesan convention. It had to do with marriage. “Eagles that Pray” is for all ages so I’ll limit my vocabulary in describing the content of the memo. Basically, the bishop said that if you are a candidate for ordination and you are married and you “engage in a relationship” outside that marriage, then you will be immediately dropped from consideration for ordination. He didn’t say how that carnal knowledge becomes apparent, but I would presume either by admitting to it, or by being caught.
And that is how it should be.
I might add that any member of the Church, whether ordained, in process for ordination, or not ordained, would be sinning in this situation, that is, acting in direct opposition to God’s will for men and women and their “engaging in a relationship”. The 10 commandments are still in force, and Jesus said nothing to undermine them, and everything to uphold them.
So far, so good.
But then the bishop goes on to say that since the state of New York had yet to clarify the ability of those of the same gender to “marry”, then a potential ordinand who is “engaged in a relationship” with another person of the same gender, and who has shown this relationship to be monogamous, will be considered to be for all intents and purposes married. So, then, if the candidate for ordination in this scenario “engages in a relationship” with someone else other than the person in that previous declared monogamous relationship, they will also be immediately removed from the ordination process and program.
Again, the bishop didn’t say how that carnal knowledge becomes apparent, but I would presume either by admitting to it, or by being caught. And – all things considered equal – this how it should be.
If all things were considered equal between these kinds of relationships.
But they are not; not in God’s eyes.
The scripture is clear; and by that I mean the will of God expressed unilaterally, and by prophets and teachers, and by Jesus himself. All “engaging in a relationship” is to only take place within the bonds of Holy Matrimony, marriage. And further proclaimed, marriage demands a man and a woman.
Without enumerating all the various benefits and joys that come from marriage, the basic message regarding marriage and this particular issue is that if you have a desire to “engage in a relationship” then getting married in order to “engage” is your only option. All other “engaging” is a sin, or is sinning.
As my colleague, Deacon Phil has commented, “Even if the State of New York allows for gay “marriage” there is nothing in TEC’s Constitution or Canons that allow for marriage as anything between man and woman. Even the BCP’s blessing of a civil marriage speaks of “husband” and “wife” not “partner” and “other partner.”
Let’s be clear once again: Christian Marriage is not possible between two persons of the same gender. Thus, even if they think they are, they aren’t married in the eyes of God. Thus, any “engaging in a relationship” between them is still the breaking of the appropriate Commandment and, thus, they are not eligible for ordination.
That’s it, plain and simple.
As your Rector, my signature must accompany the application for ordination of any parishioner. There may certainly be persons who are validly called to the ordained ministry who might be of any persuasion. But if they are “engaged in a relationship” outside of marriage, then they are being unrepentantly disobedient to God’s will and the definitions of marriage upheld by The Episcopal Church’s Constitution and Canons, and the Book of Common Prayer, and I will withhold my approval and signature. My pastoral response at that time would be to help them correct their “engaging” through repentance and confession, assist them as an agent of God’s healing of their misperceptions, and, hopefully, bring them back around to the ordination process when correction and healing have been accomplished.
It may seem strange to you, but I do appreciate – in a stringent sort of way – the clarity of Bp Adams in spelling out what he is willing to accept and not accept. He is totally wrong regarding marriage. But at least everyone knows what they are dealing with in him.
Again, this is not just a matter for candidates for ordination. If you are “engaged in a relationship” outside of marriage (in any of the ways noted above), then you are in a sinful relationship. Stop it, now. Repent, confess your sin, and be restored to full relationship with Heavenly Father, though your Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
pastoring in love,
Fr. Rob Eaton
